By Guest Writer Ainsley Britain
Sis, let’s talk. We gonna talk about some BooBoo Dudes. These are the ones that don’t deserve your time or attention, yet you worry if they’ll text back. These are the ones who haven’t treated you well but it’s nice to be noticed. The ones who conveniently forgot their wallet or maybe have used blatant manipulation to try and keep you on the back burner while they are doing who know what with who knows who. A BooBoo Dude treats you like a side chick when you deserve so much more.
Why. Are. We. Letting. This. Continue?
Are you scared of being alone? Do you not feel worthy of respect? Is shame keeping you from seeking real love? Is your loneliness lowering your standards?
I get it, I’ve been there. I know that feeling, but imagine I’m sitting across from you holding your hand because I’m seeing you and I’m interested in your heart. I want to know why you’re hurting and to share some ways I found healing. I want to care for your pain point and help you up every time you stumble. He should too.
Of course he’s not one of your girlfriends, but he should be invested, intrigued and excited to talk to you. He should be pumped to provide a meal or a fun date. & when he’s not, BYE! Whatever is holding you back from stepping into the treatment you deserve, let’s work on getting it out of here. Let’s unveil each lie, each hurt, each scar and replace them with God’s Truth about who you are in Him so we can be DONE with BooBoo Dudes!!
So, HOW? How do we unveil each of these lies to step into healing and out of mistreatment from guys now and in the future? I’ll warn you now, it’s not easy. It will take work. It might involve tears. It’s a rediscovering your identity in Christ. Let's jump in.
Recognize the lies - In order to make a change, you first must be able to see the problem. Make a list of things you believe about yourself that are negative. See on paper what you believe about yourself and allow your heart to hurt in this process, because it truly might.
Remove the lies - Shift your mindset to a “warrior mode.” Get ready for battle. Write or type out the Armor of God and tape it to your mirror. Put it on every morning as you go into battle for our next step.
Replace the lies - Another list, coming in hot! Make a list on the same paper as your negative list with verses and truths that God says about you which directly go against your list. Trust me, the Word is FULL of promises and hope that you can cling to. Have a friend help you if you’re having trouble. Then, every time you believe a lie, replace it with Truth. In your mind, repeat: “I know that’s a lie because in ____ God says _____ about me. That is true. That is what I cling to. Father, heal my heart and walk with me as I move forward in this Truth.”
The more you solidify your identity in the Father, the less you’ll settle for Boo Boo Dudes. I promise, it’s worth it. It’s time for you to walk in your purpose and show up for healthy, life-giving relationships. Maybe it’s time to let one go. Yeah, that one that just popped in your head. Maybe it’s time to put on your war paint and stand up for yourself. If you have been talking to or even are just friends with a Boo Boo Dude, consider how the relationship may bring more harm than good and welcome the Lord into the healing that needs to take place. You are so loved, friend. You are worth more than rubies and I believe in you.
I’d love to continue this conversation via email or Instagram: @ainsleyb or info@ainsleybritain.com
Ainsley is an Author and Enneagram Coach, helping young adults discover or rediscover their identity in Christ. 2014 was an exciting year of launching the 501c3, Unveiled Campaign and starting her public speaking career at Belmont University. With extensive training with Josh Shipp, SheSpeaks and Your Enneagram Coach, she reaches young adults and spurs them on to healthy, God-filled relationships. She’s currently working on her second book as she and her husband move to a new state for the fourth time in their five year relationship. They just can’t seem to sit still, especially when a new adventure is on the horizon!
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