Have you ever been frustrated with yourself because you just kept getting it wrong?
Your words – wrong.
Your tone – wrong.
Your attitude – wrong again.
That guy – wrong.
That friend – wrong.
You creep into a dark spot, ashamed of the hole you dug yourself, but embarrassed to climb out of it. Let’s be real, it’s a lot of work to climb out of that hole!
So you sit there, in that hole and begin to convince yourself and believe that this hole and this dirt is a part of you, it’s just who you are.
It troubles you that the thing that was suppose to bring you comfort and security was the thing that brought anxiety and restlessness.
I think we can convince ourselves that no one cares about or understands us because their actions have proved otherwise.
All too often it appears our heart is hurt and shattered, which leaves us bruised and calloused, closing ourselves off from the world. Trusting others becomes more difficult. Joy’s appearance becomes less and less, and in order to feel something, more pain is inflicted upon oneself.
Why is it so hard to believe that we are more than the hole’s we dig and the dirt we sit in?
What do we do when we are in the dark and it’s easier to stay in the dark than allow the light to shine in?
I think because this means being super honest with yourself and exposing the darkness, which is terrifying! No one enjoys being vulnerable and transparent, but there is one guy in particular who especially doesn’t like it? You guessed it. Your enemy. He knows that when you allow light into your darkest place his grip on you will be no more. This is why he does everything in his power to make you stay in the dark and in the dirt.
Even as a young adult, I am not immune to this. It is all too often that when I fail at a task, say something I regret, do something that I know is wrong, I immediately identify as the failure rather than the one who simply failed.
I am a loser.
I can’t do anything right.
I will always be this way.
Sound familiar?
When we allow our messes to become our identity we give power to the darkness and disregard what Christ has already done on the cross.
Ouch.
So what do we do when we don’t particularly like ourselves? When we feel ashamed of the way we look, the way we speak, or the way we act? What if we just don’t feel good enough?
How do we combat the darkness? With light!
So in order to combat the lies we need to bring them into the light. And I think a lie that needs to be exposed is the lie that your pain, your scars, what you are holding onto is ULGY. That no one wants to see it, especially not Jesus.
Guys, thats a big fat lie!!
You know how you feel, so don’t try to hide the pain and mask those feelings. Find one person that you can be brutally honest with. Friends and parents can be great for this. But older mentors can be great for this too! They can provide that outside perspective and godly wisdom, and check in with you in the days and weeks and months to come.
Now of course be careful of who you tell things to. It’s not wise to tell your deepest darkest secrets and insecurities to everyone, BUT it is so important to share them with someone, even if it’s just one person, (who is rooted in Christ’s light). Cause by doing so you bring it into the light, where it has no more power over you.
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5
In addition, as believers in Christ we have the light of the world within us! That means we have the authority to speak light into the darkness around us. Whether that is the darkness in your friend’s life, BUT also in your own. As a child of God you have the power to speak light into the darkness you may be feeling.
One way I have been speaking light over my darkness is by saying:
“I am healthy. I am whole.”
Just over and over again. For when I feel less then.
“I am healthy. I am whole.”
For when I feel anxious and fearful.
“I am healthy. I am whole.”
Telling ourselves these truths, out loud, right now into our circumstance even when we when don’t feel like it, makes the darkness scatter.
Friend, don’t get tripped up.
Don’t let this define you. You are allowed to feel this way.
Don’t run from it. Feel it. Own it.
Know you have not failed. You have not blown it. He’s not disappointed.
Remember that Jesus is actively pursuing you, and reaching His hand into that dark hole, but if you don’t grab His hand He can’t pull you up.
I like how this verse in Revelation puts it,
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” – Revelation 3:20 (NLT)
Jesus can see through doors, you don’t have to get cleaned up before you open up the door. In the same way, you don’t have to brush off the dirt and clean your self off before you grab His hand. Jesus is willing and so ready to get dirty in order to get you out of that hole.
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” -Philippians 1:6 (ESV)
As someone who continually falls back into the hole of lies, take courage friend! He’s not tired of pulling you out.
Let’s go!
Daysha
Recommended songs:
God Only Knows by For King & Country
Light to You by Michael W. Smith
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