I don’t know about you, but with every passing year birthdays tend to bring on more emotions of uneasiness than excitement as they once did. Perhaps it is because of the expectation others or yourself have placed on you to be at a certain point in your life or have accomplished certain things by a particular age. As your birthday approaches, you reflect on the year that went by and can’t help but compare yourself to others who may be at the same age as you, but are in a completely different season of life than you.
Age is kinda odd that way.
It’s strange how if you attend school, from kindergarten to grade twelve everyone in your grade is in the same boat more or less. Everyone learns the same things, has similar experiences and progresses all together year after year. But then you graduate. Then it’s as if the flood gates have been opened and people are running at all different speeds in all different directions. This is when comparison becomes even more dangerous, since everyone is now at different stages.
Birthdays are harder and harder each year because with them come expectations of where you thought you would be and understanding the present for what it is.
There is so much expectation for this one day of the year to be glamorous and magical, where everyone stops to celebrate you.
I am someone who totally believes in birthdays! As a girl growing up I would start to think and plan out my birthday months prior. Back before the internet, I would check out library books on party themes, containing ideas for crafts, snacks and games. (how retro!) I would put so much thought into my parties and look forward to them for so long, however, more often than not I was left disappointed by my own birthday.
Perhaps the reason our birthday has become less exciting than it once was, is because we are guarding ourselves from the disappointment we have too often felt growing up?
How do we even celebrate ourselves when we don’t feel enough? When we dread getting older? When another year older really means another year gone by and we feel like we are in the exact same place as the year prior? When everyone seems to be running ahead, and you seem to be running in place.
Believe it or not, but you have changed since last fill in your birthday. While you may physically be in the same city or house where nothing has seemed to change on the outside, things have changed inside you. Think of all the people that have come into your life. The smiles and laughs shared, and the tears shed. Think of the new places you explored in your city or province or country. Think of the conversations you had in the past year that grew you and formed you into the person you are right now. Think of the encounters you had with God. The words He spoke over you. The visions He encompassed you in. You are not the same person you were last year.
It is okay to throw yourself a party or ask for people to do something special for you. This may be difficult because we want people to celebrate us and surprise us, but life is busy and for many, birthdays are difficult to remember. So take the pressure off of yourself and off of others to put on this perfect event. This is your permission to gather some friends/family around you. Cook your favourite food. Bake your favourite desert. Take the pressure off. Treat yourself!
Your birthday is what you make of it, not what others make it for you. It can be a joy-filled day because you embodied joy despite having to go to work or school or stay at home sick. Whether the people around you even know its your birthday or make you feel special or not, you can rest knowing that today is a special day because it is the day you took your first breath many years ago. It’s a sacred day. When oxygen entered your lungs, and your eyes squinted as they took in light for the very first time.
So take heart dear friend, when life looks differently this birthday than you thought it would. Look up to see how incredible life truly is. Look up… to the people around you. Look up…to the Father smiling down on you. Look up… and know there is a great celebration going on because you are His beloved child and He is so proud of you.
Failed expectations are like a fiery arrow to our peace and contentment.
So break those expectations, and replace them with gratitude, with laughter, and with wonder at all God has done and carried you through. Let’s speak not “I wish” statements, but statements of hope and promise. Because as long as you got breath in your lungs you have purpose and God is not done with you!
Photography: Etoroma Creative
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