Written by Joanne Canga
A few years ago, I heard a question during a sermon that hit me like a ton of bricks. How strong is your prayer life?
This question evoked a confusing myriad of emotions that took me some time to sort through. I realized... I felt guilty. Guilty for feeling like I had a weak relationship with God, and for not prioritizing time with him through prayer. I also felt confused and - to be honest - I felt unintelligent. I didn't know where to begin or how to start strengthening my prayer life with Him, aside from praying to Jesus only when I needed something. I had underlying expectations of how my prayer life should look like, for it to be considered "strong". God was rarely at the forefront of my mind, and I simply wasn't prioritizing what was most important to me - my faith - which is right at the top of my list of values. After facing the truth of how I was living in my day-to-day, I decided to try to strengthen my prayer life, communication, and ultimately, my relationship with Jesus.
I wish I could say it was simple, but I had some challenging things I needed to go through and uncover about myself. What I went through caused a shift in my mindset and understanding, that over time helped to guide me toward a stronger prayer life
Some key things I realized...
1. I need Jesus. I need Him to guide my life, for His purpose.
This is a no-brainer, right? But I think that somewhere along the way, I stopped acting like I needed Him. My thoughts were cluttered with the things I needed to do, become, achieve, and have. I was consumed with outcomes, results, and the next step of what I had to do. I was doing my best, working hard, growing myself, and trying to become the best version of myself. These are absolutely great and amazing things... except for that fact that it didn't include the area of my relationship with God. I wasn't allowing God to lead me and my path, and was trying to take matters into my own hands - even though it was unintentional.
In reality, Jesus was leading me - it's just that I could only realize it through major turning points and key interventions. But as for those quiet moments when God would speak to me... well, those moments were rare, if any. God wasn't speaking to me because I simply wasn't listening. I wasn't listening because I wasn't communicating to begin with. When there is no intentional space for conversation, God's big interventions may be the only things we notice.
By reminding myself that I need Jesus, and trusting that He has the best plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11), I was able to think about God more and more in my day to day life. With Jesus at the forefront of the mind, I was more intentional about prioritizing my relationship with Him - a key precursor to begin a stronger prayer life.
2. Prayer doesn't have to look a certain way.
I think the word prayer can evoke a lot of different feelings and expectations from people. There are those who pray quietly, whispering intently under their breath. Some pray ferociously fast in tongues, some with beautiful, eloquent words. Before, I'd think to myself that they look so advanced and strong in their prayer life. I would compare (even though I knew it didn't make sense to) and felt almost paralyzed to step into a deeper prayer life with God, because I wanted it to look a certain way. I want to share with you that there is no right way - or better way- to pray! Scrap those expectations you have for yourself to sound or look like this or that. Jesus desires authenticity and transparency as you communicate to him, and for me, getting hung up on how I would pray was a detour away from a closer relationship with Jesus, and instead was reinforcing a perfectionist mindset.
Jesus desires a real, authentic and truthful relationship with you.
3. Give yourself some grace, adjust the sails.
This may not apply to everyone, but when I would think about starting a stronger prayer life, I would trip myself up before I'd even begin. This was something I struggled with in all areas of life, like when I'd begin a new hobby or try to change a habit. After chatting with others, I've realized that I'm not the only one! I believed that for me to start having a stronger prayer life, I needed structure and a plan to follow through. I wanted to become a Prayer Warrior, and I viewed it as a goal, an end point of who I needed to become, and a winning result.
But what happens when you've made that plan/system? You've scheduled in your calendar your designated times to pray. Perhaps you've set reminders in your phone. Maybe you've researched for hours on end about "How to Pray" and have gone down an endless YouTube rabbit hole until you feel overwhelmed with options. You've looked at everyone else's immaculate prayer systems that look like they're working for them. You might even get a new notebook to write your prayers down, with cute pens to boot.
There is nothing wrong with systems and structure. In fact, your prayer life can absolutely thrive within a system, and it may be a great way to ensure you're prioritizing this part of your communication with God - especially in the beginning. The trouble for me was not the system but instead, how I'd view myself and react when falling short to my standard.
If this sounds like you, you do not need to be so hard on yourself. God forgives and gives grace generously (James 4:6). If we don't forgive ourselves for falling short, we may take a while to bounce up and try again- or worse- develop a fear of even starting (like I did) because you feel that you're doomed to fail anyway.
If you haven't prayed in a long while, or maybe you feel that you haven't done enough...remember that we are human, and God forgives. Take time to reflect, note any internal disappointment you might have, and remember that you falling short is not failing as your permanent trait, but is actually a valuable metric to adjust and fine-tune your sails... to do better next time.
When we are strengthened in our relationship with Jesus through prayer, we are able to release our worries and relish in the peace and freedom of God. Through good times and challenging times, forks in the road and in crises - we can lean into Jesus and trust in His plan for us. We become deeply rooted in the foundation of God, and we become calm within storms of life. When God speaks to us, it reinforces our faith even more. It gives us reassurance that we are on His path, for His purpose, for His glory!
After all, how can you receive answers to your prayers when you aren’t actually praying? How can you receive His blessings for you if you do not ask, and give your situation to God for His control? Give Jesus the space to have a relationship with you, and see how he will answer you, connect with you, direct you, and bless you.
It was apparent to me that God was listening from the very first time I prayed. At the time, I was on the fence about if God even existed. Being raised from a Buddhist and Atheist household, I didn’t really know much about Jesus and Christianity to begin with, but Jesus came to me at the age of 22. That year was my first prayer to God. My brother was in surgery from being randomly shot twice by someone (yes- this happened in Canada) while walking to his parked car. In utter shock, distress and desperation, I asked Him: “God, if you exist, please save my brother. If you do, I promise I will go to church.” Not only did God save my brother, he was healed from two gunshot wounds with no physical ailments other than scars. He can walk, he is healthy, and through this traumatic experience, God unified our family and brought us close together!
Not all of my prayers were answered- especially in my way, or when I wanted them to be answered, but I know God has such amazing plans for us. His extraordinary plans surpass anything we could ever plan for ourselves. Because of this, there is such a wonderful peace in trusting God. From my past prayers of finding a good husband, to tight finances and making it on one income for a whole year, to healing heart issues, bringing opportunities, finding mentors, learning self-worth and patience... the list goes on and on, and is continuing every day. And it is all for His glory, as He deserves all of the praise!
I challenge you to write down in one central place- maybe it’s in a whiteboard, a notebook, in your phone- write down all of your answered prayers, and keep adding to it as the years go by. Don’t forget about the miraculous ways that Jesus moves in our lives as you get older. And if you haven’t yet received any answered prayers, you can still participate! Write down the title, “Answered Prayers”, pray consistently, and have faith in God's plan!
Hi! I’m Joanne Canga. I am 29, the youngest of 3 siblings, and born in Edmonton, AB to a Chinese-Canadian family. I am happily married to my dream hubby Aristoteles, and I am passionate about God, personal growth, music, and anything excel/productivity related (yes!). We go to Daystar Church in Leduc, where we also serve in the worship ministry.
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