So, Is This What Life Is…?

Guest Writer Kaitlyn Etoroma

There is something powerful that happens when we let go of trying to do things on our own, in our own power, in our own strength, off our own mustered up confidence and say, “Jesus, it’s yours”.

Three years ago if you told me that, not only I would be where I am today, I would have called you a liar. Today, I feel more alive than I ever have before. But that has absolutely nothing to do with the accomplishments in my life, and everything to do with the security, the grace, the freedom Jesus has brought into my heart.

If you looked at my life, you’d see that I am married, a mom, a daughter, a business owner, a photographer and a pastor. I am thankful and honoured and humbled that my life is made up of these (and other) details. BUT when my hope for contentment, joy and freedom lies in the accomplishment and achievement of these details, disappointment and emptiness eventually comes like a suffocating roaring storm.

So often, our knee-jerk reaction to this life is to hold on tight, like the way we grip on to the steering wheel in a rainstorm, and say “I’ve got this”. But white-knuckling it through life only leads to fear, striving, and disappointment. On our own we fail.

I remember there was a point in my life, I forget how old I was exactly, but I remember just sitting in a room of people in a moment of… reflection maybe. I had gotten home from school that day, my parents got home from work, we cleaned the house and got ready to have people over. Then I thought about the day before. Same thing. Got home from school. Siblings got home from school. Parents got home for work. Had dinner. Participated in our commitments. Went to bed. Woke up the next morning to do it again.

And I thought to my self.

“So, is this what life is? Is this just what it is for the rest of my life? Wake up, go to work, come home from work, hang with family and friends, then go to bed and do it all over again?”

Now do not mistake me, I absolutely enjoy every single aspect of all these things, but what got me was the reality of how routined it was, how monotonous it was, how everyday and ordinary it was.

Yes, of course, there are moments of exceptional experiences and accomplishments that change our lives. These are remarkable and notable! These experiences bring a similar affect to our lives as a sparkler. Things seem routine and ordinary, but then you light the sparkler and boom! You have this stunning depiction of light, drawing our eyes to its sparks and unpredictable beauty, making our mouths smile, our hearts warm and for a moment, a brief moment, we are left awestruck. But, just like a sparkler, our lives return to the normal and the sparkler affect wears off.

This reality unravelled and played out in my mind like a film reel.

“There must be more”.

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Often we can get caught up believing that following Jesus is simply attending church on a regular basis and being a nice, kind, good, generous person.

We can believe and even tell others that by attending on Sunday or on Saturday or whatever small group or gathering you may go to, hearing and receiving a positive word, that is all that Jesus is.

There was a season that I believe this, but again, I came to play out this reality. The slides of the movie reel flickered through my mind and I just didn’t quite see how simply attending a regular gathering and sure, being surrounded by nice people, would provide this,  “Life more abundant” that Jesus talked about. This, “joy overflowing”, this “peace that is so incredible, it doesn’t make sense”, this entirely complete contentment, satisfaction, confidence, grounded, anchored, fearless, world changing life that I heard so much about.

Again, I thought to myself.

“There must be more”. 

Then I read Romans 12:1-2 MSG:

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

My perspective on this thing called life, changed ENTIRELY. God moves in the little things. Jesus is present with me in the little things. Now it’s not just “attending church”. Now it’s not just “going to work”. It is, “Jesus, show me who you are, show me how you are working, use me in the little things every day and change me from the inside out”.

I’ve realized there is power in the little things. I realized there is power in the ordinary. There is IMPACT in the every day. There is life change in a moment of obedience. 

Life with Jesus means that every single thing that we do is apart of what He does in our lives. Inviting friends for dinner. Doing coffee with someone we haven’t seen in a while. Thinking “hey I should reach out to that person and see how they are doing”, then ACTUALLY doing it. It is praying as you drive in your car as you head to work, asking Jesus to be with you, giving you patience and discernment and strength. It’s allowing him to move in your conversations. It’s allowing Jesus into EVERY decision of life and seeing that He shows up every time.

We have seen in our lives that Jesus isn’t just in the walls of the church on the Sunday, He is in the midst of your business. He is in the midst of your financial decisions. He is in the every day, ordinary things. He takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary. 

When we open our hands, surrender our lives to JESUS, realizing that no matter how much we do, no matter how much we accomplish, at the end of the day, we all fade away like the last glimmer on a sparkler.

My life has changed because of Jesus. He is in every single moment of my life and He shapes, impacts and directs every single decision I make. 

Rather than me saying, “there must be more”, my world has changed and it is now, “I know you have more Jesus, so have your way”.

Its on my knees at the feet of Jesus, with open hands saying “Lord have your way”, that life has been found.

~ Kaitlyn Etoroma

She’s been married almost 4 years to Daniel and has a sweet baby girl named Thea who is almost one. Her creativity and passion for people has drawn her and her husband into having a couple creative businesses, while being a young adult pastor! She was born and raised in Edmonton, AB and there is nothing that warms her heart than a good sunset and good cup of coffee – two of Edmonton’s staples. Converse are her sneaker of choice and dark Chocolate salted caramel pretzels are her FAV! She is all about reading three books at a time, but also having several creative projects on the go.